Something revisited...

I like to read the blog posts over at BabyCenter.com in the MOMFormation section. After reading this one post from Very Violet it made me think about my own childhood. The author's toddler daughter has sensory issues and is just a unique child (I know I made a hash of the description). Anyway, the point being that in the post she talks about how the diagnosis of learning/emotional/physical disorders is not a pigeon hole for the child but a key to open the doors of their world through services and aide and support groups. I want to agree with this statement.

I can remember being in third grade, God bless Mrs. Underwood, and knowing that something was wrong but not knowing what it was. Can you imagine being in third grade and wanting a diagnosis of a problem so that you wouldn't feel like it was all your fault? I had always been at the bottom of my class in reading and spelling and middle of the road with math. It had always embarrassed me. Looking back on things I feel that my first and second grade teachers just passed me along as an average or poor student. But Mrs. Underwood knew better. She was the first teacher to think maybe there was something standing in my way. There were parent/teacher conferences and it was eventually decided that I was, and still am, "mildly" dyslexic. How you can be "mildly" dyslexic is beyond me. I guess it is like being "a little" pregnant. Anyway the mild label meant that I was not bad off enough to warrant special education (which would have cost the school system money). And so more conferences ensued and a home/class plan was set up.


Mrs. Underwood put me in my own spelling group with a short list of words each week. She would put me in a different seat for tests to help me stay focused. She made me feel like I was special and not a poor student. She understood! School was still pretty hard for me and I remained in special spelling groups through fourth and fifth grade. Salvation came in middle and high school where if you didn't finish you could take it home and finish it at home.

I have made my own way in the world and figured out how to work with my disability but even as I type I can see it creeping through my brain and messing with my words. I still read slowly and depend heavily on spell check and even though I am now good at math I still work slow and check my final numbers. I can only wonder how things would have been different had someone noticed earlier that I had a disorder and if I had been given help in learning how to work with my disorder. So I guess the bottom line here is yes, a diagnosis is not a self fulfilling prophecy or an excuse but a starting point or a launching pad to to accepting who you are and working with what you have.